Queen DeeDee-lizabeth gives somber and sober Christmas broadcast

By PAISLEY POOPOO, Associated Press Writer – Thu Dec 25, 10:22 am ET

LONDON – Britain's Queen DeeDee-elizabeth II delivered a somber and, unlikely, sober Christmas broadcast Thursday, acknowledging how the economic crisis has cast a shadow over the traditional festive season and calling for people to show courage in the tough times ahead. Adding, “Suck it up you paupers!”



The sober tone was in sharp contrast to last year's drunken address when the monarch opined about the value of a happy family and the importance of helping the disadvantaged. And ended the speech by throwing up!


"Christmas is a time for celebration, I am going to Party Like a Rockstar…but this year, for you poor people it is a more somber occasion which it sucks to be you," the 82-year-old monarch said in the prerecorded message from Buckingham Palace's Music Room. She was most likely passed out at the time of the airing.

Cindy DeeDee McCain - The REAL Change

Cindy DeeDee McCain
While husband John is out pounding the election trail, Cindy DeeDee is thinking about pounding something else.....Tranny Rights, Silly! Cindy DeeDee McCain says that she thinks that all the hubbub over her old geezer husband is wasted air, she believes that S-He is the REAL change about to hit Washington, DC.
"I've spent years pretending I'm something I'm not so I am over qualified to be first 'lady' if you look at the present hag...I mean, first lady!" says C-DeeDee (as she likes to be called.)
When asked about her husband's decrepit old age C-DeeDee replied, "Isn't he dead yet?"

2008 Semi-Hard Candy Droppings Tour

Miss DeeDee kicks off her 2008 Semi-Hard Candy Droppings Tour this week in Topeka! She promises that this will be the best tour since her 1987 Secrets Down-Under Tour. At her age, the decrepit old rock star was quoted as saying, “This Sh*%^& sucks, who cares about the damn fans…they suck!” At which point the has been star farted and passed out. At this time Miss DeeDee is not available for comment.

Miss DeeDee’s Polygamous-sect children ordered to stay in Texas custody

By Marol Kinkin, Ass-ociated Press PooPoo’er 2 hours, 51 minutes ago

SAN ANGELO, Texas - A chaotic two-day hearing ended with Miss DeeDee screaming, “Get me my chilt’rens.” With Miss DeeDee's head dropped low and silent whimpering, the judge ordered that the 416 of Miss DeeDee's own children that were taken from a ranch run by Miss DeeDee’s polygamous sect will stay in state custody for the time being.
State District Judge Barbara Walther heard 21 hours of belly-aching and a lot of false testimony over two days before ruling Friday that the children would be kept in custody while the state continues to investigate allegations of abuse stemming from the Child Labor laws, stem cell research, medical testing, race experiments, positive fontal lobe electrocutions, and oh yeah, the teachings of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Rodrigez of Latter Day Saints.

Miss DeeDee said that she will just go out and have 416 more!

Fidel and DeeDee: We're Moving to Boca!

Long time rumored lovers, Fidel and Miss DeeDee announced today that they will be moving to a high-rise condo in Boca! Although Fidel also announced today that we will be stepping down are dictator of Cuba, His adoring fans screamed with excitement over the news of his engagement to Miss DeeDee!

W & DeeDee travel to Africa

Once again, Miss DeeDee and W travel to new parts of the world that have been just discovered, like Africa. Their plan is to spread Democracy to parts of the new foudn world whether they like it or not. Asked why she felt so strong about spreading the work of the devil (ole' W himslef), Miss DeeDee replied, 'damn if the food ain't good on AirForce One!)

She said she wouldn't do it....

BUT SHE LIED!

Miss DeeDee Royalis is announcing right here, and at a bar near you, that she is in FACT running not only her queen size panty-hose but she is also running for the office of Presidente a la Unitedo Stateso. And since she heard the party was at the Casa D'Caucus right now, well Miss DeeDee just telephon-i-a old Olivia and offered her some old fashion mu'lah, if you know what ole' Miss DeeDee means....She is a shoe-in for first place at the D'Caucus's tonight!

SweDeeDee Todd tops the Movie List with Blockbuster sales

Story about a grisly revenge by Miss DeeDee Royalis, a wo-man unjustly imprisoned by a lecherous queer judge. Royalis returns as barber SweDeeDee Todd and exacts revenge giving bad haircuts and botched Brazilian waxes to unsuspecting customers. The Movie unfolds like a bad dye job, this one is certainly not to be missed!