The GOLDEN haze of Hollywoodland

With all of Hollywoodland a buzz with all the awards shows coming up, well Miss Chi-Chi just got her self a thinking…thinkin’ bout all them shows, the Golden Shower Globes, the People Choice-less Awards, the Gay-time Emmy’s and the supreme of the supreme, that giant golden china-driver: Mr. Oscar Myer Mans

Well it just takes Miss Chi-Chi back, back to them days of checking out nasty little redneck be-otches at the Piggly Wiggly in Spivey Corner, NC. Lawd Girl, let me tell you ain’t nothing worse then the smells of some damn hick on hotter then hot southern day. Girls getting all stinking and such, well it makes Miss Chi-Chi wanna throw up, that’s what.

I remember the day I ran away, I slipped poppa the tongue and ran, ran so fast my feet swelled, swells so big I jump on the ole Greyhound bus, damn near got touch for free on that bus…but I made it the rest of the way to Hollywoodland, you know that’s what they called it back then….

Back when I was a STAR….a bright big shining STAR….here are a few pictures from them days……

My Boyfriend Jake gets HOT nods

INSIDER TV has just named their Hot Bachelors of 2006 They're the guys whose broad shoulders and dazzling smiles make Hollywood seem like "Hunkwood." The kind of men that makes Miss Chi-Chi RED hot. Tonight, they're counting down the buffest, most desirable star bachelors of 2006!
Well my SECRET lover JAKE GYLLENHAAL is named one of the hottest.
What those damn fools don't know is that he is TAKEN, BITCHES, TAKEN DO YOU HEAR ME UUURRRRGHH!!!!!!! GET UR PRETTY LITTLE PAWS OFF HIM, I TOOK THAT LITTLE TROLLUP FORMER GIRLFRIEND KIRSTEN DUNSTHEAD AND MADE HER ALL BROKE-UP MOUNTAIN, DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT TO YOU...JAKE IS MY MAN, GOTS IT? MY MAN!

Miss Chi-Chi 

CLEAR THE ROADS HONEY, MISS CHI-CHI IS COMING TO YOUR TOWN!

That's right little kiddies

MISS CHI-CHI ROYALIS IS COMING UR WAY.....SOOOOON!