GO BUY MY RE-RE-RE-RELEASED MUSICAL MOVIES

Taking time out from my oh-so-very-busy schld at the Olympics, I, my dear friends, have found time to hawk my -re-re-re-released videos. so go out and buy the damn things, as ass is tired of releasing these damn things..... what the hell are you doing???? go buy them! DAMN PEOPLE!

DOWN HILL SKIING BABY!!!!

Now that I have all that pesky business of Ice Dancing out of the way, taking the Gold, Silver AND Bronze don'tcha know....... now it's all about the Down Hill Skiing, watch out all you stupid little snow bunnies, Miss Chi-Chi is rolling down the slopes!

LITTLE KWANIE KWAN

Well now that my little black magic worked, that awful little Kwanie Kwan is out of my way, and plan to take over the Olympics is under way! hahahahaha!

GOD BLESS MISS CHI-CHI, OH YEAH, AND AMERICA

As Miss Chi-Chi is gearing up for her Olympic events, make sure you check back for highlights, she want to make sure the WORLD knows that she is an American. And as an AMERICAN, she finds the best thing in the world is being an Athletic Supporter, as well as a participating athlete!
Here are a few pictures from the opening ceremony in Turino, let me just tell you I was a busy GIRL!

THE 2006 GRAMMY’S

HERE ARE A FEW OF MISS CHI-CHI’S FAVORITES FOR THIS YEAR’S GRAMMY’S

GO SEEDHAWKS!

IT’S SUPER SERIES TIME, WHO BELIEVES IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN?! WELL, MISS CHI-CHI DOES! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT MISS CHI-CHI IS A HUGE SEEDHAWKS FAN; SHE LOVES ALL KINDS OF BASEBALL TEAMS. SHE LOVES IT SO MUCH, SHE IS IN DETROIT RIGHT NOW WARMING UP ON THE SIDE LINES!

The State of Non-Union

Oh, I've got ur back Mister Pres-i-dente.....and i'm real angry, and when i say angry, i mean ur peaches!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, DOG!

TO ALL MY FANS AND THEN SOME, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR! I JUST LOVE THAT THE YEAR OF THE DOG COMMEMORATES MY FAVORITE DISH!
HAPPY YEAR OF THE DOG! ROOF ROOF ROOF!

Barista Witches

Ok, they’ve done it again! Those Damn Barista’s, aka the Witches of Westlake, continue to screw up my coffee EVERY DAMN MORNING!!!! How, in the name of Flying Monkeys, can it be to make a simple decaf Americano that doesn’t taste like Hunger….Miss Chi-Chi is so not happy today, it’s amazing how such a little thing can effect ur whole day!

I’m switching back to tea!

Miss Chi-Chi SOOOOO very angry!

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY THE WICKED WITCH AND HER FLYING MONKEYS ARE SHOOTING OUT OF UR ASS???!!! LORD ONLY KNOWS HOW MUCH I HATE THE WITCHES OF WESTLAKE!!!

Happy Birthday Virginia, Miss Woolf if ur Nasty!

On this the 124th birthday of Virginia Woolf, I thought to myself and out loud that we should revisit one of my most memorable movie performances. Oh do I remember the torrid affair that I had with my great love Richie….oh, that’s Richard to you common folk. Mister Burton if I’m nasty! Can I ask you, and I will, does it get any better then this?

Miss Chi-Chi has such fond memories, even fonder are the ones that I have made up and sold to the tabloids. Hey, even Miss Chi-Chi gonna make a nickel or two off some old stories, even if they aren’t completely true…oh hell, I make most of this crap up, but don’t tell no one….Miss Chi-Chi gots her reputation to uphold, and when I say uphold, I mean, stay three feet in front of the law!

KICKIN' BACK A 40oz or 2

Some people have asked me many times, they say 'Miss Chi-Cho, what is it that you do all day. How is it that you spend your time, leading such a glamourous life as you do Miss Chi-Chi. Please tell me your secrets!'

Well, my little prying nosey ass fans, Miss Chi-Chi's life is, for the most part, a secret. well, except all the public records down at the court house, but that's a whole different story...
SO STOP PRYING INTO MY LIFE AND ASKING ALL THESE STUPID QUESTIONS...for the love of gawd, get a life and stop trying to suck that last bit of good life I got in me!

I will let you in on a secret....a little one, just to keep you coming back for me you little rodents:
Miss Chi-Chi thinks it's important to stay true to yourself and NEVER forget where you come from....

It's Vintage Miss Chi-Chi Sunday!!!

So every sunday, Miss Chi-Chi will try and pull out some vintage Miss Chi-Chi photos. I hope you remember my VERY brief engagement to that dreadful bore...CHARLES.

Reese's BIG Dress Debacle!

'Walk the Line' winner REESE WITHERSPOON, and Hollywood tart if you ask me, learned some stunning news at Monday's Golden Globes® event, and we're not talking about her exciting win for Best Actress! NO! Miss Witherspoon got herself a call from Miss Chi-Chi, herself.

Miss Witherspoon mentioned that her dress smelled of cigerettes, booze and bleach?!
Turns out her vintage, couture CHANEL dress was actually a RE-RUN, and the exact same frock worn by Miss Chi-Chi Royalis-Culpepper back in 2003 to some Golden Shower Globes after-parties.

Despite the mishap, Miss Chi-Chi and CoCo Chanel have "double air-kissed" and made up, having grown up together in the early thirties. And reps for Reese released this statement to the Insider's Horace Culpepper this morning: "Although it was disappointing that the dress still had some ‘Miss Chi-Chi stank to it, and had already been worn, Reese looked beautiful but would never look as glamorous and beautiful as the stunning Miss Chi-Chi.'

GOLDEN GLOBES, EVENING GOWNS, DIAMONDS…OHMY!

Golden Globes means on one thing to this ole’ Miss Chi-Chi…..every stinkin’ designer in the world is calling my house to get me to wear their damn old rags. Tom Ford comes kissing my feet, Karl Lagerfeld licking my knees, and old Rasputin himself, Yves St. Laurent comes banging my back door trying to get in and make me wear some hideous frock to the Red Carpet

Well Miss Chi-Chi won’t be brought down to the masses wearing some K-Mart blue light special, like the one old Tommy Ford tried to slam down my throat….no-ser-bob, Miss Chi-Chi will be flashing down the Red Carpet in her Favorite Designer: Hubert M. Pickering, Esq., designer to the stars and hair-weaver of the heavenly.

And that dog-faced Joan and her side-heifer daughter better not same one damn thing about my dress this year, ‘cause I’ll be body-surfin’ her face across the red carpet and digging my heels in her back…..don’t think Miss Chi-Chi won’t, you know how she is when she’s been caught up in a limo with a bottle of Southern Comfort.

Here are few of her favorites, but you have to watch the show to see which one she picks!

COURT APPOINTED VOLUNTEER-ISM

Well at this point in the game, I ain’t even able to remember his name, but all I know is hiding out in a Rest stop bathroom is nor legal in most states, I SWEAR, not even in my beloved North Carolina. Hell, if you ask me, and that damn judge didn’t, he didn't look like an undercover policeman. And you ask any one that’s been around Miss Chi-Chi a time or two, that cop learnt a life time of experiences….

Well that all said, Miss Chi-Chi found her self in some court appointed Volunteer-ism down at the Wal-Mart. Supposed to teach me something ‘bout being nice. I don’t know what the hell they thinking making me a Greeter, but tell you and me that didn’t last a day.

Now I’m doing my volunteer work down at the local meth clinic…that’s another story….all I can say is them boys sure are SWEET on Miss Chi-Chi….

The GOLDEN haze of Hollywoodland

With all of Hollywoodland a buzz with all the awards shows coming up, well Miss Chi-Chi just got her self a thinking…thinkin’ bout all them shows, the Golden Shower Globes, the People Choice-less Awards, the Gay-time Emmy’s and the supreme of the supreme, that giant golden china-driver: Mr. Oscar Myer Mans

Well it just takes Miss Chi-Chi back, back to them days of checking out nasty little redneck be-otches at the Piggly Wiggly in Spivey Corner, NC. Lawd Girl, let me tell you ain’t nothing worse then the smells of some damn hick on hotter then hot southern day. Girls getting all stinking and such, well it makes Miss Chi-Chi wanna throw up, that’s what.

I remember the day I ran away, I slipped poppa the tongue and ran, ran so fast my feet swelled, swells so big I jump on the ole Greyhound bus, damn near got touch for free on that bus…but I made it the rest of the way to Hollywoodland, you know that’s what they called it back then….

Back when I was a STAR….a bright big shining STAR….here are a few pictures from them days……

My Boyfriend Jake gets HOT nods

INSIDER TV has just named their Hot Bachelors of 2006 They're the guys whose broad shoulders and dazzling smiles make Hollywood seem like "Hunkwood." The kind of men that makes Miss Chi-Chi RED hot. Tonight, they're counting down the buffest, most desirable star bachelors of 2006!
Well my SECRET lover JAKE GYLLENHAAL is named one of the hottest.
What those damn fools don't know is that he is TAKEN, BITCHES, TAKEN DO YOU HEAR ME UUURRRRGHH!!!!!!! GET UR PRETTY LITTLE PAWS OFF HIM, I TOOK THAT LITTLE TROLLUP FORMER GIRLFRIEND KIRSTEN DUNSTHEAD AND MADE HER ALL BROKE-UP MOUNTAIN, DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT TO YOU...JAKE IS MY MAN, GOTS IT? MY MAN!

Miss Chi-Chi